No heaven will not ever be Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me

I would have wrote this 2 and half weeks ago, but I will explain why. Anyone who knows me, knows I love animals SO much. I found my best friend 2 years ago in my front yard eating french fries. I loved her from day one and I know she loved me too. She would only come to me for the longest time, then she decided to like my mom and dad and Daniel, but only them. She would run away when the kids came down, or when the dogs barked, or anything. She was such a good cat, but she found the doggy door. Camron moved in with his 2 dogs who are young and like to bark and Izzy didn't like them at all. So she would explore around the city. I promise I am not a crazy cat lady, I will take any animal that is cuddly and friendly and Izzy was everything. Something funny she would do is bring in grasshoppers and praying mantises and put them in a certain room, and so we had about 30 dead AND alive bugs living in that room thanks to Izzy! June 30 was a horrible day for me. I didn't get much sleep the night before and I was so stressed out about our upcoming trip to Texas. I had just moved into the new place and had clothes everywhere. I finally got everything ready and we headed to Morgan. I came home and called my cat inside. I knew she wouldn't come in but I wanted her to know I was back home. I kept calling her throughout the night, I even locked my brothers dogs in the back so she could know they were gone and it was safe to come in. She was very scared of those dogs because they would chase her all the time. I laid in bed and cried because I had a feeling something was wrong with Izzy. She usually came in around 12. But no later than 2. It was 3 AM. I told everyone in the house something was wrong, but no one did anything because she is a silly cat that runs away. I prayed so hard to Heavenly Father that she was ok, and if she wasn't just send me a sign so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I think the sign was that I was freaking out so badly, and the feeling I had towards it. The next morning, we woke up and left the house around 5 in the morning. I say to my mom "Izzy's not dead right? You guys aren't just keeping it from me so I won't be sad?" My mom replies no. We drive a little further and I see an orange cat in the middle of the road. I cannot even begin to tell you how upset I was. I was hyperventilating, I was screaming, I couldn't breath. I made my mom turn around to see if that was her, and I wish I didn't do that because I saw her in the most horrible way I could have. That image is stuck in my head forever. I didn't see a collar so I was hoping it wasn't her, but we like to think the person who hit her took it off looking to see if there was an address on it. I want to thank that person because it means they cared, it means they felt bad for what they did. I could not contain myself the whole trip to Texas. I settled down a little bit in order to get on the plane, but wow. It's safe to say I cried for the next week straight. I feel so bad for Daniels family because I was a wreck for the first little while. This could not have happened at a worse time (except maybe on my wedding day) She was my best friend. I feel so stupid for writing this blog about a cat. But she was my first cat, she loved me so much and I feel so bad for leaving her. If she just could have waited 2 weeks I would have taken her to a brand new house with new toys and no dogs and no kids. I miss her little kneading her paws on my leg. I miss her little rough baby kisses on my nose. I miss playing under the covers with me. I miss when she would be outside and I would get so frustrated with her, trying to make her come in, yet she would just be outside rolling in the rocks and the bushes taking her sweet time. Again, I know it's stupid. But I wear my heart on my sleeve and I care for animals way too much, and so combine those this my own very best friend who was way too young to die, it equals a big heart full of ache. I was feeling horrible, and I just wanted to talk to her (which sounds completely insane I know) but I prayed so hard for her to know that I loved her and I am so sorry. Everyone says getting a new kitten will help, but I would so much rather have her here than 500 cats. I probably would have to go on animal hoarders for that! Eventually I will get a cat again, but I am not replacing her. I will never replace her. I just want a friend here, and another cat for me to help and love. I debated because I don't want to go through another death. Lois CK had a quote that says "It’s true, everything that makes you happy is going to end at some point, and nothing good ends well. It’s like, if you buy a puppy, you’re bringing it home to your family’s saying, hey, look, everyone, we’re all gonna cry soon. Look at what I brought home. I brought home us crying in a few years. Here we go. Countdown to sorrow with a puppy.” I just thought that was funny because it's true! We love something so much and then eventually they have to die! They become our best friends and then we have heartbreak. But that is just Heavenly Father's plan! I am so excited to have Izzy running up to me (or hiding and rolling in the bush) when I go to heaven. Here are a couple poems I found.. Lend me a kitten I will lend to you for a while a kitten, God said For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he's dead. Maybe for twelve or fourteen years or two or three. But will you, 'till I call him back, take care of him for me? He'll bring you his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief you'll always have his memories as solace for your grief. I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return. But there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn. I've looked the whole world over in a search of teachers true. And from the folk that crowd life's land I have chosen you. Now will you give him all our love, nor think the labor vain? Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again? My heart replied, "My Lord, Thy Will Be Done" For all the joys this kitten brings the risk of grief I'll run. We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may And for happiness we've known, forever grateful stay. But should you call him back much sooner than we planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand. If, by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve, Then in memory if him who we loved, please help us while we grieve. When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife, Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all his life. The Cat Bed in the Sky I thought that you might like to know I got here safe and sound Though you must feel rather strange not having me around; Of course, I am not really gone, I've just moved out of sight, And I don't need that old body, things had stopped working right. Sometimes I'm sorely tempted, to pop back down and see, Just how you are managing, without any help from me, But I'm sure that you will understand I can't come back to stay, Though I have it on good authority that we'll meet again some day. The chow up here's delicious - Ambrosia brand, it's named, Once you've tasted this stuff, Friskies won't taste the same, And where do they get this nectar, which thick and creamy comes, It's not like other dairy products cause it don't give me the runs. I haven't found the litter tray, and THIS perplexes me, That however much I wolf down, I never have to pee. But there are other plus points, which cannot be ignored, My claws have all come back again and there are drapes here to be clawed. Oh yes - I've got a comfy bed, just like mine down there at home, So things here are quite adequate, I cannot gripe or groan; But while I'm up here waiting, in my cat bed in the sky, I'll regularly look in on you, and keep a watchful eye. RIP my little girl. I will see you again!